I Got Criticized on Instagram...
And I didn't handle it well.
I was really stressed and distracted by it for an entire day.
I was frozen.
I couldn’t work.
I couldn’t focus.
Even my go-to stress release …play good music really loud…didn’t work until the next day.
I deleted the post and slowly regained my composure.
My reel got likes 👍 and positive comments.💬 It also got criticism.🗯 The criticism was helpful in that it made me think and see things from another point of view.
It wasn’t the criticism that bothered me.
It was the tone. 😡
And it was the name-calling. 🤬
Is this what kids deal with on social media every day, even multiple times a day?!
I know that kids are more anxious, more stressed, more depressed and less focused than ever.
I felt like that, though only for a day.😩
This experience gave me a tiny window into kids’ social media world.🌎
And I am more convinced than ever that parents need to put off allowing kids to access social media as long as possible, to protect them from the emotional hits that even adults have trouble digesting.
If your kids participate in social media, have a meeting with them about the emotional side effects.
In preparation, plan out some go-to coping strategies for when emotions take over.
What has worked for you?
What has worked for them?
Music, 🎼art, 🎨 exercise, ⛹🏻 call a friend, 👭 write in a journal,📖 meditate, 🧘🏿etc.
Here are some other ideas for coping when it gets rough.
Try not to respond to disrespectful comments.
If there is a compelling reason to respond to a negative comment, wait until you are
calm enough to think rationally before commenting. An impulsive comment can make the situation worse.
Delete hurtful, inappropriate comments. ❌
This next coping strategy is my favorite.
Get curious. 🔎
This is a very powerful strategy that calms emotions and gives you the ability to think logically.
Curiosity uses our thinking brain rather than our emotional brain.
This is how it works:
Start with the words, “I wonder…”
At the height of my discomfort, I thought, “I wonder how long it will take me to really calm down.”
And, “I wonder how long will it take for this experience to fade from my consciousness.”
It was like doing an experiment.
My Findings: It took me a full day to calm down and another day for it to start fading from my thoughts.
This is good information. When it happens again, and I am feeling completely overwhelmed, I will find comfort in the knowledge that there’s an end in sight. I will feel lousy for a day and get relief in about two.
Kids can use this “I wonder…” strategy especially when they are worried about what might happen at school. In addition to the above examples, kids can think,
“If they will talk about it [post/comment] at school, I wonder how long it will take for them to forget about this and move on to the next thing.”
Curiosity tamps down the intensity of emotions and stress so kids can cope at school.
They can take comfort in knowing about how long it will take for the other kids to move on and that there is an end in sight.
So, yes, I got blasted on Instagram.
I learned from it.
And my empathy for kids who are on social media deepened.