Are You a "Say and Stray" Parent?

You might recognize this: You tell your child, “Clear your dishes,” “Turn off your tablet,” or “Stop jumping on the couch,” and then you head to the next room before it actually happens. That's Say and Stray.

It feels efficient—because of course they should just do it.

But that moment, repeated over time, teaches kids something unintended: “I don’t have to listen until the yelling starts.”

It’s not defiance, it’s conditioning.

Kids learn that your words aren’t urgent until the volume or emotion goes up.

That’s how Say and Stray turns into repeat reminders, frustration, and power struggles.

Here’s what works better: Say and Stay.

Say the instruction, then stay close for a moment and follow through. You don’t need to hover or nag—your presence is the accountability.

When you do this:

• Your words start to matter again

• Kids learn to follow through the first time

• You don’t have to repeat yourself

• Yelling becomes unnecessary

It actually takes less time than chasing them down later.

Try noticing it this week—just once—and choose Say and Stay instead of walking away.

The shift is small, but the impact is big.