When is a Trip Not a Vacation?

saribethgoodman
Jul 10
2 min read

A dad recently vented on Reddit that traveling with young kids felt more like work than fun. One commenter offered a simple vocabulary lesson:

“When you take your kids, it’s a trip. When you go without them, it’s a vacation.”

So how do you take your whole family on a trip—and actually come home smiling (and somewhat rested)? The secret is preparation. Specifically, building what I call a

“Tantrum Shield.”

What’s a Tantrum Shield?

It’s a set of pre-planned strategies designed to prevent meltdowns before they happen. You’re not just packing clothes—you’re packing calm. Here's how:

Anticipate your child’s most likely triggers.Think through common challenges:
- Restaurants
- Gift shops or souvenir stands
- Sugary treats everywhere
- Exhaustion from nonstop activity
Create clear, consistent rules—before the trip.
Discuss them with your kids in advance so they know what to expect.

Sample Tantrum Shield Rules

At Restaurants:

“We order from the kids’ menu only.”
“Drinks are water or milk—no soda.”

Souvenir Shops:

“You can choose one souvenir per day.”
“It must be under $20.”

Treats:

“One sugary treat per day.”
“One special snack during the afternoon.”

Fatigue:

“We’ll take a 30-minute rest each day.”
“Bedtime is at ______ o’clock.”

Why This Works

Most tantrums stem from disappointment and what psychologist Dr. Mona Delahooke calls “prediction errors.” When children are in a new place, their brains struggle to anticipate what’s next.

Disrupted expectations + tired bodies = meltdowns.

By setting simple, predictable rules around common triggers, you give your child the gift of certainty. They know what’s coming, what’s allowed, and where the boundaries are. Even with rules, this makes the trip feel safer and more enjoyable for everyone.