You explain. You say, “I’m not discussing this anymore.” You say “No” five times. And still, your child argues with your decision. So you explain some more. You remind them why you said no. You tell them again that you’re not discussing it. You answer another “But why?” ou think you are taking charge and being decisive. But your children may be hearing something very different: They hear, “This is still up for decision.” Why does this keep happening? It’s a question I hear a

I don't mean never tell your kids, "no". I mean don't avoid it. It's like the parent who told me about a time her son asked if he could have a sleepover that weekend. She hesitated. It had been a long week, the calendar was full, and she already knew the answer was no. But instead of saying it, she said what many of us say: “We’ll see.” Over the next few days, he kept bringing it up. “Did you think about it?” “Can I invite him?” “Have you decided yet?” Eac